Oh l Come from a land, From a faraWay plaCe
Where the Caravan Camels roam
Where it's flat and immense And the heat is intense
lt's barbariC but hey, it's home
When the Wind's from the east And the sun's from the West
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on doWn, stop on by, Hop a Carpet and fly
To another Arabian night
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not Are hotter than hot
ln a lot of good Ways
Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes
Salaam and good evening to you, worthy friend.
Please come closer.
Too close. A little too close.
There.
Welcome to Agrabah.
City of mystery.
Of enchantment.
And the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan. Come on down.
Look at this. Combination hookah and coffee maker.
Also makes julienne fries.
Will not break.
lt broke.
Look at this. l have never seen one of these intact before.
This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen.
Still good.
Wait, don't go!
l can see you're only interested in the exceptionally rare.
l think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider this.
Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance.
Like so many things, it is not what is outside,
but what is inside that counts.
This is no ordinary lamp.
lt once changed the course of a young man's life.
A young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed.
A diamond in the rough.
Perhaps you would like to hear the tale?
lt begins on a dark night.
Where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.
You are late.
A thousand apologies, oh patient one.
- You have it, then? - l had to slit a few throats.
But l got it.
The treasure.
Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's coming to you.
What's coming to you.
Quickly, follow the trail.
Faster.
At last, after all my years of searching.
The cave of wonders.
Cave of wonders.
By Allah.
Now, remember. Bring me the lamp.
The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine.
The lamp. The lamp.
Jeez, where'd you dig this bozo up?
Who disturbs my slumber?
lt is l. Gazeem.
A humble thief.
Know this. Only one may enter here.
One whose worth lies far within.
The diamond in the rough.
What are you waiting for? Go on.
No!
Seek thee out the diamond in the rough.
l can't believe it. l just don't believe it.
We're never going to get ahold of that stupid lamp.
Just forget it.
Look at this. l'm so ticked off that l'm molting.
Patience, lago. Patience.
Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.
There's a big surprise.
l think l'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise.
What are we going to do? We got a big problem here, a big...
Yes.
Only one may enter.
l must find this one, this diamond in the rough.
Stop, thief!
l'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat.
All this for a loaf of bread?
- There he is. - You won't get away so easy.
You think that was easy?
You two, over that way. And you, follow me. We'll find him.
- Morning, ladies. - Getting into trouble early today,
aren't we, Aladdin?
Trouble? No way.
You're only in trouble if you get caught.
- Gotcha. - l'm in trouble.
And this time...
Perfect timing, Abu. As usual.
Let's get outta here.
Got to keep one jump Ahead of the bread line
One sWing ahead of the sWord
l steal only What l Can't afford
That's everything.
One jump ahead of the laWmen
That's all, and that's no joke
These guys don't appreCiate l'm broke
- Riffraff - Street rat
- SCoundrel - Take that
Just a little snaCk, guys
Rip him open, take it baCk, guys
l Can take a hint Got to faCe the faCts
- You're my only friend, Abu - Who?
Oh, it's sad Aladdin's hit the bottom
He's beCome a one-man rise in Crime
l'd blame parents, ExCept he hasn't got 'em
Got to eat to live, got to steal to eat Tell you all about it When l got time
One jump ahead of the sloWpokes, One skip ahead of my doom
Next time, going to use a nom de plume
There he is.
One jump ahead of the hit men, One hit ahead of the floCk
l think l'll take a stroll Around the bloCk
- Stop, thief. - Vandal.
- Abu. - Scandal.
Let's not be too hasty
Still l think he's rather tasty
Got to eat to live, got to steal to eat, Otherwise We'd get along
Wrong
Get him!
He's got a sword.
You idiots. We've all got swords.
One jump ahead of the hoof beats One hop ahead of the hump
One triCk ahead of disaster, They're quiCk but l'm muCh faster
Here goes, better throW my hand in, Wish me happy landing
All l got to do is jump!
And now, esteemed effendi, we feast.
Here.
Go on, take it.
Ah, don't.
On his way to the palace, l suppose.
Another suitor for the princess.
Out of my way, you filthy brats.
Hey! lf l were as rich as you, l could afford some manners.
l'll teach you some manners.
Look at that, Abu.
lt's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends.
You are a worthless street rat.
You were born a street rat, you'll die a street rat
and only your fleas will mourn you.
l'm not worthless. And l don't have fleas.
Come on, Abu. Let's go home.
Riffraff, street rat
l don't buy that
lf only they'd look Closer
Would they see a poor boy?
No siree
They'd find out
There's so muCh more to me
Some day, Abu, things are going to change.
We'll be rich, live in a palace and never have any problems at all.
- l've never been so insulted. - Prince Achmed.
You're not leaving so soon, are you?
Good luck marrying her off.
Jasmine.
Confound it, Rajah.
So this is why Prince Achmed stormed out.
Oh, Father. Rajah was just playing with him. Weren't you, Rajah?
You were just playing with that overdressed,
self-absorbed Prince Achmed, weren't you?
Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor who comes to call.
The law says you must be married to a prince by your next birthday.
- The law is wrong. - You've only got three more days.
Father, l hate being forced into this.
lf l do marry, l want it to be for love.
Jasmine, it's not only this law.
l'm not going to be around forever, and...
l just want to make sure you're taken care of.
- Provided for. - Please try to understand.
l've never done a thing on my own. l've never had any real friends.
Except you, Rajah.
l've never even been outside the palace walls.
But, Jasmine, you're a princess.
Then maybe l don't want to be a princess anymore.
Allah forbid you should have any daughters.
l don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky.
Jafar, my most trusted advisor.
l am in desperate need of your wisdom.
My life is but to serve you, my lord.
lt's this suitor business. Jasmine refuses to choose a husband.
l'm at my wits' end.
Wits' end.
Have a cracker, pretty Polly.
Your Majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals.
Now, then.
Perhaps l can divine a solution to this thorny problem.
lf anyone can help, it's you.
But it would require the use of the mystic blue diamond.
My ring?
- But it's been in the family for years. - lt is necessary to find a suitor.
Don't worry.
Everything will be fine.
Everything will be... fine.
The diamond.
Here, Jafar.
Whatever you need will be fine.
You are most gracious, my liege.
Now run along and play with your little toys.
That will be pretty good.
l can't take it anymore.
lf l gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers...
Calm yourself, lago.
Soon l will be sultan, not that addle-pated twit.
And then l stuff the crackers down his throat.
l'm sorry, Rajah.
But l can't stay here and have my life lived for me.
l'll miss you.
Goodbye.
Oranges from Jaffa.
Ok, Abu. Go.
Try this. Your taste buds will dance and sing.
Get your paws off that.
Why, you... Get away from here, you cursed, filthy ape.
Bye-bye.
Nice going Abu.
Breakfast is served.
Pretty lady, buy a pot. No finer pot in brass or silver.
Sugar dates. Sugar dates and figs. Sugar dates and pistachios.
Would the lady like a necklace? A pretty necklace for a pretty lady.
Fresh fish. We catch 'em, you buy them.
No. l don't think so.
Excuse me.
l'm really very sorry.
Hello?
You must be hungry.
- Here you go. - You'd better be able to pay for that.
- Pay? - No one steals from my cart.
l'm sorry, sir. l don't have any money.
- Thief! - Please.
lf you let me go to the palace, l can get some from the sultan.
Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?
No, please.
Thank you, kind sir. l'm so glad you found her.
- l've been looking for you. - What are you doing?
- Just play along. - You know this girl?
Sadly, yes. She is my sister.
- She's a little crazy. - She said she knew the sultan.
She thinks the monkey is the sultan.
O wise Sultan, how may l serve you?
Tragic, isn't it?
But no harm done.
Come along, sis. Time to go see the doctor.
- Hello, doctor. How are you? - No, not that one.
Come on, Sultan.
What is it?
Come back here, you little thieves.
With all due respect, Your Rottenness,
couldn't we just wait for a real storm?
Save your breath, lago. Faster.
Yes, oh mighty evil one.
Part, sands of time.
Reveal to me the one who can enter the cave.
Yes.
There he is.
My diamond in the rough.
That's him? That's the clown we've been waiting for?
Let's have the guards extend him an invitation to the palace.
- Shall we? - Swell.
Almost there.
l want to thank you for stopping that man.
Forget it.
So this is your first time in the marketplace, huh?
ls it that obvious?
Well, you do kind of stand out.
l mean, you don't seem to know how dangerous Agrabah can be.
l'm a fast learner.
Come on. This way.
Watch your head there. Be careful.
- ls this where you live? - Yep. Just me and Abu.
- Come and go as we please. - That sounds fabulous.
Well, it's not much.
But it's got a great view.
The palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
lt's wonderful.
Wonder what it'd be like to live there. And have servants and valets.
Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress.
That's better than here. Always scraping for food and ducking guards.
You're not free to make your own choices.
- Sometimes you feel so... - You're just...
trapped.
So where are you from?
What does it matter? l ran away and l am not going back.
Really? How come?
Why, you...
My father's forcing me to get married.
That's awful.
What?
Abu says...
that's not fair.
- Oh, did he? - Yeah. Of course.
And does Abu have anything else to say?
He wishes there was something he could do to help.
Oh, boy.
Tell him that's very sweet.
Here you are.
They're after me. They're after you?
- My father must have sent them... - Do you trust me?
- What? - Do you trust me?
- Yes. - Then jump!
We just keep running into each other, don't we, street rat?
Run. Go, get out of here.
lt's the dungeon for you, boy.
- Get off. - Let him go.
Looky here, men. A street mouse.
Unhand him.
By order of the princess.
- Princess Jasmine. - The princess?
What are you doing here? And with this street rat?
That's not your concern. Do as l command. Release him.
l would, Princess. Except my orders come from Jafar.
- You'll have to take it up with him. - Believe me, l will.
Jafar?
Princess.
- Jafar, l'm stuck. - How may l be of service to you?
The guards took a boy from the market. On your orders.
Your father has charged me with keeping peace in Agrabah.
- The boy was a criminal. - What was his crime?
- l can't breathe. - Why...
- kidnapping the princess, of course. - lf you could just... That hurt!
He didn't kidnap me. l ran away.
Oh, dear.
How frightfully upsetting. Had l but known...
What do you mean?
Sadly, the boy's sentence has already been carried out.
- What sentence? - Death.
- By beheading. - No.
l am exceedingly sorry, Princess.
How could you?
So. How did it go?
l think she took it rather well.
lt's all my fault, Rajah.
l didn't even know his name.
She was the princess.
l can't believe it.
l must have sounded so stupid to her.
Abu, down here.
Come on, help me out of these.
She was in trouble.
She was worth it.
Don't worry, l'll never see her again.
l'm a street rat, remember, and there's a law.
She's got to marry a prince.
She deserves a prince.
l'm a fool.
You're only a fool if you give up, boy.
- Who are you? - A lowly prisoner like yourself.
But together perhaps we can be more.
- l'm listening. - There is a cave, boy.
A cave of wonders,
filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
Treasure enough to impress even your princess, l'd wager.
Jafar, can you hurry up? l'm dying in here.
But the law says that only a prince...
Haven't you heard of the golden rule?
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
So why would you share this treasure with me?
l need a young pair of legs and a strong back to go in after it.
One problem. lt's out there and we're in here.
Things aren't always what they seem.
So. Do we have a deal?
Who disturbs my slumber?
lt is l. Aladdin.
Proceed.
Touch nothing but the lamp.
Remember, boy. First fetch me the lamp.
And then you shall have your reward.
Come on, Abu.
Would you look at that!
Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer than the sultan.
Don't touch anything.
We got to find that lamp.
Will you knock it off?
Are you crazy?
A magic carpet.
Come on out. We're not going to hurt you.
Take it easy. He's not going to bite.
Thanks.
Wait a minute, don't go.
Maybe you can help us.
You see, we're trying to find this lamp.
l think he knows where it is.
Wait here.
This is it?
This is what we came all the way down here to...
No!
lnfidels.
You have touched the forbidden treasure.
Now you will never again see the light of day.
Carpet, let's move.
This is no time to panic.
Start panicking.
- Help me up. - Throw me the lamp.
l can't hold on. Give me your hand.
First give me the lamp.
Yes!
At last.
- What are you doing? - Giving you your reward.
Your eternal reward.
lt's mine. lt's all mine.
l... where is it?
No.
No!
Oh, dearest. What's wrong?
Jafar has done something terrible.
There there, my dear.
We'll set it right.
Now, tell me everything.
Wake up.
My head.
We're trapped. That two-faced son of a jackal.
Well, whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.
Why, you hairy little thief.
lt looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk.
l think there's something written here,
but it's hard to make out.
Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.
Hang on a second.
Wow, does it feel good to be out of there.
Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Where are you from? What's your name?
Aladdin.
Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al? Or maybe just Din?
How about Laddie? Sounds like ''Here, boy.'' Come on, Laddie.
l must've hit my head harder than l thought.
Do you smoke? Mind if l do?
Sorry, Cheetah, l hope l didn't singe the fur.
Rugman, haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.
You're smaller than my last master. Either that or l'm getting bigger.
Look at me from the side. Do l look different to you?
Wait a minute. l'm your master?
That's right. He can be taught.
What would you wish of me? The ever-impressive,
the long-contained,
often imitated, but never duplicated...
Genie of the Lamp.
Right here, direct from the lamp.
Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment.
Thank you.
- Wish-fulfillment? - Three, to be exact.
lx-nay on the wishing for more wishes.
That's it. Three.
No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.
- Now l know l'm dreaming. - You don't realize what you got here.
So why don't you just ruminate whilst l illuminate the possibilities?
Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves
SCheherazade had a thousand tales
But, master, you're in luCk 'Cause up your sleeves
You got a brand of magiC never fails
You got some poWer in your Corner noW
Some heavy ammunition in your Camp
You got some punCh, pizzazz, Yahoo and hoW
See, all you got to do ls rub that lamp and l'll say
Mr, Aladdin, sir, What Will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it doWn
You ain't never had a friend like me
Life is your restaurant And l'm your maître d'
Come on, Whisper What it is you Want
You ain't never had a friend like me
Yes, sir, We pride ourselves on serviCe
You're the boss, the king, the shah
Say What you Wish, lt's yours, true dish
HoW 'bout a little more baklava?
Have some of Column A, Try all of Column B
l'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
Oh, my
No, no
Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
Can your friends go,,,
Hey, looky here
Can your friends go AbraCadabra, let her rip
And then make the suCker disappear?
So don't just sit there SlaCk-jaWed, buggy-eyed
l'm here to ansWer All your midnight prayers
You got me bona fide, Certified
You got a genie For a Chargé d'affaires
l got a poWerful urge to help you out
So What's your Wish? l really Want to knoW
You got a list that's Three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you got to do is rub like so
Mr, Aladdin, sir, Have a Wish or two or three
l'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend
Like me
You ain't never had a friend like me
So what'll it be, Master?
You're gonna grant me any three wishes l want, right?
Almost.
There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos.
Like?
Rule one. l can't kill anybody.
So don't ask.
Rule two. l can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
You little punim there.
Rule three. l can't bring people back from the dead.
lt's not a pretty picture. l don't like doing it.
Other than that, you got it.
Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes?
Some all-powerful genie!
Can't even bring people back from the dead.
l don't know. He probably can't even get us out of this cave.
Looks like we'll have to find a way out.
Excuse me.
Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp?
Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here?
And you're walking out on me? l don't think so.
Not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down.
ln case of emergency, the exits are here.
Anywhere. Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet.
We're...
out of here.
Jafar, this is an outrage.
lf it weren't for all your years of loyal service...
From now on, you're to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me.
Before they are beheaded.
l assure you, Your Highness, it won't happen again.
Jasmine, Jafar, now let's put this whole messy business behind us.
Please.
My most abject and humblest apologies to you as well, Princess.
At least some good will come of my being forced to marry.
When l am queen, l will have the power to get rid of you.
That's nice. All settled, then.
Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business...
Jasmine!
lf only l had gotten that lamp.
''l will have the power to get rid of you.''
To think we gotta keep kissing up to that chump and his chump daughter
for the rest of our lives.
No, lago. Only until she finds a chump husband.
Then she'll have us banished.
Or beheaded.
Wait a minute.
What if you were the chump husband?
What?
You marry the princess, right?
And then you become the sultan.
Marry the shrew.
l become the sultan.
The idea has merit.
Yes, merit.
And then we drop poppa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff.
l love the way your foul little mind works.
Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs.
Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop.
Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye, thank you.
Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
You sure showed me.
Now about my three wishes...
Dost mine ears deceive me?
Three? You are down by one, boy.
No, l never actually wished to get out of the cave.
You did that on your own.
l feel sheepish.
All right, you bad boy. But no more freebies.
Fair deal.
Three wishes. l want them to be good.
What would you wish for?
Me?
No one's asked me that before.
Well, in my case...
- Forget it. - What?
- l can't tell you. - Come on.
Freedom.
- You're a prisoner? - lt's part of the whole genie gig.
Phenomenal cosmic powers.
- ltty-bitty living space. - Genie, that's terrible.
But oh, to be free.
Not to have to go, ''What do you need?''
''What do you need?'' ''What do you need?''
To be my own master.
Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and treasures in the world.
But what am l talking about? lt's not going to happen.
- Wake up and smell the hummus. - Why not?
The only way l get out of this is if my master wishes me out.
So you can guess how often that's happened.
l'll do it. l'll set you free.
Yeah, right.
l promise. After my first two wishes, l'll use my third wish to set you free.
Well, here's hoping.
Let's make some magic.
So how about it? What is it you want most?
Well, there's this girl.
Wrong. l can't make anybody fall in love, remember?
But, Genie, she's smart and fun and...
- Pretty? - Beautiful.
She's got these eyes that just... and this hair.
And her smile...
But she's the princess. To even have a chance, l'd have to be...
- Can you make me a prince? - Let's see.
Chicken à la King.
No. Alaskan king crab.
l hate it when they do that. Caesar salad.
Et tu, Brute? No.
''To make a prince.''
ls that official? Say the magic words.
Genie, l wish for you to make me a prince.
All right!
First, that fez-and-vest combo is much too third-century.
These patches. What are we trying to say, beggar?
No. Work with me here.
l like it.
Now, it still needs something. What does it say to me?
lt says, ''Mode of transportation.''
Excuse me. Monkey boy. Over here.
Here he comes. And what better way to make your grand entrance
than riding your very own brand-new camel?
Watch out. They spit.
Not enough.
Still not enough. What do you need?